Rösle Can Opener, $42.00


Dear Dave is a series in which I address poor reviews of pricey consumer goods in the advice column tradition of Dear Abby or Dear Sugar.  Aren’t most online reviews a cry for help, anyway?

Dear Dave,

Not worth it!

It worked great when I bought the can opener, looks nice. Was easy to use. Lasted 7 mo. Less than a year. I hate it! Knob is tight. pops and clicks when TRYING to turn the tight knob. No justice. Still have it using up space in drawer. I can’t through it away cause I spent to much $ for it. I’m hoping in my dreams it will work one of these days. Haha. Decided to buy a stainless steel Cuisinart electric opener, that cost as much as this hand held opener. Still love to shop at Williams Sonoma. One bad apple is not keeping me away.


Yorba Linda, CA


Dear Frustrated,

Are you aware there is a honeymoon period for any new love?  It’s necessary for human procreation.  People look nice and they’re easy to be around, things pop and click without even TRYING.  For awhile.  Then comes the work.  Here’s the blunt truth, Frustrated.  There is no justice in love.  It is a leap into the void, following a heart that knows no logic, only desire.  After that honeymoon, you gave it 7 months and he still won’t open up, despite your straining!  How much longer can you TRY to open that can?  How much longer can he take up precious room in your “drawer”?  He doesn’t want you opening that can and seeing (smelling!) his inner Dinty Moore Beef Stew.  That’s no substitute for real beef stew, and you know it!  I love your spirit but I might consider another “shopping” place.  This Williams Sonoma scene sounds played out.  Your bitter, “Haha”, makes me think you know it, too.  One bad apple can quickly turn into two and then we’re looking at a bushel of bad apples and then you’re in your forties and then, let’s face it, it’s over.  With your fierce spirit and independence from the rules of grammar it would be a shame to open THAT can of worms.



One thought on “Rösle Can Opener, $42.00

  1. Best line: “seeing (smelling!) his inner Dinty Moore Beef Stew.” I’m also partial to the bit about having “independence from the rules of grammar”…good stuff.

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