Tag Archives: Kat

“I like chicken, too.”

This is the fourteenth installment of a series about the Mountain Dude, a wandering guy with an ESP-like “gift”.  The Mountain Dude, some readers may recall, made a few enigmatic appearances in JJ in the 21st Century.

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When I finally arrived at Kat’s cabin, she was out. This was a major disappointment. I don’t get excited about much these days but as I walked up the long dirt driveway, I had this giddy mix of exhaustion and expectation (with a dash of lust, honestly). So when the door went unanswered I just kind of slumped down on the porch and looked out over the land. I felt like crying, there was pressure right behind my eyes, but I was all dry and empty from the journey to get here. Plus, I had this feeling of unease, like something was gaining on me. It was getting cold, it was really grey, and it smelled like snow. In fact, flurries were already falling.

The door was locked but I knew I could get in. I had done so in the past with Kat’s blessing. But here is how our last encounter ended:

“You’re just like all the rest,” she said.

“All the rest of what?”

“Men. I thought you were different.”

“Just because I’m a little jealous?”

“You love the picture of me just sitting up here waiting for you as you do whatever. I’m supposed to be chaste and watch for your return like some quivering helpless damsel. Well fuck that. Men owning women. That’s the kind of shit I left behind.”

“Come with me for a few weeks.”

“I said no,” she said. “I have work to do and your need to keep me close by isn’t a good enough reason to leave. I’m building a life here.”

“With your parents’ money,” I said.

A menacing silence.

“That’s none of your goddamn business.”

But I knew it was a sore spot. So I poked again.

“So rebellious,” I said. “So independent and principled.” In my best taunting falsetto I said, “I hate you mommy and daddy, but can you send $50,000 and leave me alone?”

“Get out!”

I think I had it coming. I’m pretty slow to anger but then I stab. It’s been a problem in the past.

That’s how our last encounter ended about six weeks ago. So I didn’t want to break into the house like I had any right. I took off my boots, unpacked my sleeping bag and got in. Then I leaned back against the cabin wall under the porch roof and watched the snow flurries and the trees. I dozed off.

Car tires on gravel coming up the driveway. I looked as the car approached. Two shapes in the front seat, a driver and a passenger. I think I heard myself groan. The car stopped below the porch and two people got out, a man and a woman. The woman was Kat. They went to the trunk and grabbed bags of groceries. The trunk slammed and they came on up the steps.

“I’m going to grill up all this chicken,” the man said. “We’ll have some tonight then I’ll make chili with the rest.”

“Mmmmmm,” Kat said. “Sounds great.”

Then they saw me there, reclined in my sleeping bad against the front wall of the cabin.

“Who are you?” the man said.

“Oh shit,” Kat said.

“Hi guys,” I said. “I like chicken, too.”

I might as well guilt a meal out of them before I hit the road again.

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Kat’s Canyon

This is the eleventh installment of a series about the Mountain Dude, a wandering guy with an ESP-like “gift”.  The Mountain Dude, some readers may recall, made a few enigmatic appearances in JJ in the 21st Century.

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I met her for the first time on the outskirts of a small crowd listening to a bluegrass band. Old hippies and younger artisan types with their kids twirling in gypsy skirts and bare feet were all gathered around the group, playing with their back to a river in a Rocky Mountain canyon. I was in my infant days of wandering and still craved company after a few days in the wild, just to be around other people and be reassured that they lived and did things like listen to music or eat meals or dance with their kids. Once I had my fill or I drew (or was drawn) too close, I fled back to the wild again. My loner callouses had yet to harden.

I saw her standing there, leaning on a boulder under an aspen, watching. There was a golden glow about her from the fall aspen leaves and I thought of some Tolkien wood elf with a holy beauty beyond sex or desire. I was awestruck and, as I stood staring, music receding into the background, she looked at me and noticed and was aware of me. I felt like I had perverted something, being caught like that and I looked away. When I looked back she was already approaching. The only option at that point would be to turn and run. I was caught.

“What the hell are you looking at?”

“What?”

“You were staring. Gaping. Yes, gaping at me. Groping me with your eyes. What the fuck is the matter with you?”

So maybe she was no Tolkien elf maiden.

“I…uh…I’ve been alone for awhile.”

“So you thought you could just stare and have me like some object or lawn ornament.”

“I…uh…mean that…I’ve been walking in the mountains. My social… are…uh…that’s to say. I’m feeling really awkward around people.”

“So you weren’t admiring me?”

“Well..uh..yeah but not like that.”

“Not like what?”

“Well…not like sexually.”

“You don’t think I’m sexy?”

“Well…yeah, but..”

“So you do want to have sex with me.”

“No. I don’t even know you!”

Now she smiled and I knew she was playing with me. I wasn’t amused. I tried a smile that I’m sure looked like a grimace.

“My name’s Kat,” she said. “And I live in this canyon.”

“I wander,” I said. “I live wherever.”

“Do you have a name?”

“No. Not anymore. I left it behind.”

She rolled her eyes. “So how should I address you?”

“Just call me, Dude.”

She shook her head. “Dude, let’s go smoke a joint down by the river.”

Later, I asked, “You live in this canyon?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you from this canyon?”

“No. I’m from Pennsylvania.”

“So, why…”

She looked at the water, the slanting sun flashing off the rolling current, bluegrass music just audible from up and beyond.

“I’m in exile,” she said. “I hate the world and the people running it. Women haters, racists, shitty rich people. My whole family are shitty rich people. I chose to leave all that. There’s good people here and no one cares who or what your were. I’m home here.”

“Hmmm.”

“Why are you wandering?”

“I can’t be around people. It hurts too much.”

“It hurts them or you?”

“Both.”

So we sat there by that river and I felt small and silly in my selfish wandering next to her stand against a shitty world. But it passed as we watched it get dark in the canyon.

We didn’t have sex that night. That would have to wait.

And I got no ESP into her thoughts or emotions. Nothing. She was beautiful, principled, and closed to me.

I fell in love that day by the river.

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